Desde que sonhei ser mãe que sempre pedi um bebé com saúde, que fosse forte e saudável. Tudo o resto, para mim, era secundário – se era rapaz, rapariga, com olhos claros, cabelo castanho etc… No entanto, desde que os meus filhos nasceram e que se tornaram «pessoas» peço também que sejam educados. Mas não basta pedir, é necessário educar.
Assim, hoje vou escrever sobre algumas das regras que considero essenciais para ensinar aos meus (nossos) filhos.
Com efeito, a educação é muito importante e é um óptimo cartão-de-visita pela vida fora. De facto, uma criança bem-educada, na minha opinião, acaba por chegar mais longe.
Neste contexto, cá em casa consideramos que a educação deve ser uma preocupação desde cedo. É muito importante que, desde crianças, os nossos filhos desenvolvam hábitos e boas maneiras. Sim, desde muito pequenos, pois quanto mais cedo o fizermos, melhor será o resultado. Sendo que uma boa educação, com regras, não implica, de maneira nenhuma, que eles deixem de ser crianças e que eles percam o que de melhor tem uma criança – a sua espontaneidade.
Os valores que nós pais transmitimos aos nossos filhos são muito importantes, pelo que, desde logo, é essencial sabermos ser exemplo. De facto, não adianta transmitirmos valores, regras e dicas de boa educação se nós próprios não os cumprirmos – é meio caminho para o insucesso.
As primeiras regras – expressões e palavras – que tento incutir, para que eles aprendam e usem, é o “se faz favor” e o “obrigada(o)”. Noto, aliás, uma coisa engraçada que me acontece não raras vezes: como mulher, habituei-me a dizer obrigada, pelo que quando estou a ensinar o Tomás, por vezes, esqueço-me de dizer “obrigado” e não “obrigada”; é uma coisa parva, mas que o meu marido me chama sempre a atenção e com razão! As palavra/expressão «obrigada» e «se faz favor» são muito importantes, pelo que além de as ensinar devemos ir explicando quando e como as devem usar.
Outra regra que tento ensinar desde cedo é a saberem pedir desculpa quando fazem alguma coisa de mal, em particular entre eles. Tento sempre ensiná-los e, por vezes, “obrigo-os” a pedirem desculpa e a darem um abraço ou um beijinho.
Uma coisa que sempre me incomodou ver noutras crianças antes de ter filhos, é estar/chegar a algum lado e os filhos, sobrinhos, netos, não cumprimentarem ninguém presente. Não peço que dêem beijinhos a toda a gente, mas para mim é obrigatório que digam um olá, apesar de tentar que dêem sempre um beijinho, mas nem sempre consigo, mas não desisto de tentar… fui ensinada assim e gostei. No mesmo sentido, desejar sempre bom dia e boa noite são rituais que temos cá em casa e que gosto de manter, nada pior que chegar de manhã a algum lado e apanharmos pessoas mal encaradas que nem um bom dia sabem dizer e infelizmente vemos muitas por aí.
O respeito pelos mais crescidos e o cumprir com o prometido são também aspectos que tento ensinar desde cedo. São duas coisas importantes que para o futuro lhes vão dar muito jeito.
Existem mil e uma coisas que também acho importantes, mas numa primeira fase e ainda tão pequenos estas são algumas das regras de educação que lhes tento passar e transmitir.
120 Comments
Sara
Sempre incuti estas mesmas regras na minha filha desde pequena!
Aproveito a dica da boa educação para pedir opiniões sobre um assunto que me tenho questionado. A minha filha tem 5 anos e de há um tempo para cá que me chega a casa com expressões do tipo: “bueda grande” e outras expressões em calao. Apesar de não serem asneiras, não gosto de ouvi-la com este tipo de palavreado. Quando pergunto quem ensinou, a resposta é sempre a mesma, foram dois colegas de infantário, ora é um, ora é outro. Parece-me que os pais destas duas crianças pouco se importam da forma como os filhos falam. Agora fica a duvida, será que sou eu que sou exagerada?
Carolina
Olá Sara. Desculpe vir comentar quando a questão não é da minha conta. Mas sou educadora e por isso gostava de lhe dar um pequeno feedback dessas situações… São coisas perfeitamente normais. Da mesma maneira que quando a sua filha era mais pequena descobriu as partes do corpo, agora está a descobrir que é muito “fixe” falar assim. Tente explicar-lhe que essas palavras são feias e que os meninos lindos e crescidos não falam assim (convém que ao lhe dizer isto, não exista nenhum adulto no seio familiar que o faça, pois se assim for, será em vão). Não lhe ralhe nem a proíba pois assim só fará pior e com que ela repita vezes sem fim só para chatear! Pode também alertar as educadoras da sala para essa situação, para que fiquem mais atentas e para que até pedagogicamente possam falar disso um dia de manhã (contando uma história, fazendo um desenho, etc). As educadoras têm o dever de ajudar! No entanto se me permite deixo-lhe uma dica…sempre que a sua menina referir essas palavras faça um jogo… Simule um teatro onde ela perceba o quanto essas palavras são “feias” e dê-lhe a tarefa de ser ela a explicar aos meninos da sala como devem falar e ter boas maneiras. Existem inúmeras formas de tentar combater isso. Atenção que ao início pode parecer em vão, tem de ser com calma e com tempo. Nunca entre numa guerra de “eu sou a mãe, eu é que mando e por isso se disseres ficas de castigo, etc” isso nunca resulta e está a criar uma criança revoltada e não uma futura cidadã.
Deixo outro alerta, não pense que por essas crianças usarem essas expressões, significa que são mal educadas ou que os pais não se importam com isso. Muitas vezes os pais nem sabem que eles usam essa linguagem na escola (daí a minha dica para alertar as educadoras)! Não quer dizer que seja o caso, mas muitas vezes “julgamos” coisas que não são. Como refere a Mariana (e muito bem!) educar não é tarefa fácil e eles próprios adoram deseducar-se!
Espero que corra tudo pelo melhor e desculpe o comentário.
Um beijinho
Sara
Agradeço imenso o seu comentário e fico ainda mais satisfeita porque vejo que vai totalmente de encontro às opções que tenho tomado. Tudo o que me sugeriu é exactamente o que tenho feito à excepção de falar com a educadora, que ainda não fiz, mas que tenciono fazer oportunamente. Muito obrigada pelas dicas! Beijinhos
Mariana Seara Cardoso
Olá Sara,
Acho que devia falar com a educadora, vai ajudar de certeza. 🙂
Beijinhos e tudo a correr bem.
Carla Marques
Educar um ser humano é tão complicado… Vamos educa-los, ou tentar, sempre à imagem dos nossos valores e daquilo em que acreditamos e está muito bem assim.
Mas, às vezes (e falo por mim), queremos ir além daquilo que nós próprios somos e queremos que os nossos filhos sejam melhores que nós.
Concordo com tudo o que este texto diz menos com a parte dos beijinhos. Lá está, à minha imagem, não quero que as minhas filhas se sintam obrigadas a dar beijinhos às pessoas se não lhes apetece. Eu não gosto de o fazer. São muito poucas as pessoas com quem gosto de ter esse tipo de “intimidade” (coisas minhas, que refletem a educação com muito pouco contacto físico que tive). Mas é essencial que cumprimentem sempre todas as pessoas e que sejam sempre educadas. Isso não dispenso nunca. No beijinho é que tento não insistir porque não gostava quando o faziam comigo.
De resto quero ensinar-lhes a tolerância e a empatia sem descurar o saberem cuidar de si próprios e não se deixarem nunca intimidar por nada nem ninguém (dentro dos limites da integridade física claro).
Diria que é muito complicado educar alguém… 😛
Mariana Seara Cardoso
É um grande grande desafio…
Beijinhos e obrigada pelas suas palavras.
Tudo a correr bem.
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